The pit in my stomach is enormous. The butterflies are many. As our daughter’s birth day arrives, so does a new chapter in the story of our lives.
I describe the feeling as knowing the speech will take place, but no script has been written. Or that the recital is in a matter of hours but we don’t know the steps to the dance. Ready or not, her time has come.
This holiday weekend has been perfect. Full of memories doing perfectly simple things that felt extraordinary. We poured as much as we could into Cooper. My goodness, how thankful we are for him and his health. We’ve done just about everything we possibly can to help prepare this little boy, but it won’t be enough. He’ll have to take it all in stride like the rest of us.
Audrey dances away with each word that I type. I still feel her head under my ribcage, breech baby.
So many of you will be there, awaiting Audrey’s arrival. Thank you in advance. Whether or not we see you, we will feel your presence. We will know your love. It has been evident all along.
To Chris, you have been my rock. Strong and steady. Yet your heart is soft. You, the father of my children, are an incredible man. You give and give so much of yourself. You love me wholly, you love Cooper and Audrey deeply. Never do you waiver, your love is not conditional. We, your little family, adore you. Appreciate you. Need you. Love you. Together, we can do this and we will. I love you.
To Cooper, you are a big brother! No matter what happens, Audrey will always be your little sister. You have talked about her for months and your excitement about her, captured on video, is a memory we’ll cherish forever. I had a different picture for you two and your future. While I don’t know what it looks like, I know it isn’t quite what I had in mind. But buddy, remember, we are not in control. Remember to trust in the One who created us. Know that this is an opportunity for each of us to grow and be better. We love you with our whole hearts – you are ours.
To our parents, it isn’t possible to adequately describe just how deep our gratitude runs. We could not have made it through these months without you. You’ve given us time together by having Cooper on many occasions. We are grateful he has four grandparents who care for him so much and with such intention. Thank you for loving Audrey through her fight in my belly. If your grand-daughter could say it herself, I know she would say she knows you and your voices already. She knows your love. Because all the words in the dictionary won’t come close to saying it well enough, I’ll simply say…thank you. Thank you for walking alongside us, for trusting and being faithful with us.
To our families, as your niece, cousin, great-granddaughter, etc. makes her way into the world, we know that so many of you will be only footsteps away. Even if you cannot be there in person, you will be in spirit. Thank you. We have amazing families. What a blessing you are in our lives. The family tree grows by one. She has a piece of each of you that makes her the little angel she is. We love you.
To our friends…you feel like family. The meals, prayers, soccer games, driveway cookouts, coffee dates, watch parties and birthday celebrations that we have shared over these past few months only deepened the strong bond we already shared. You’ve showed up with groceries, sent gift cards, dropped of a pick-me-up gift, sent cards and so much more. You’ve gone above and beyond to be there for us. Love to each of you.
We’ve committed to asking for and/or accepting help. We have no idea what we will need this week, next week or next year, but thank you in advance.
I have asked Carrie Webber to help us keep you all informed. She will graciously post a few updates here on the blog with any news we can get to her. She is and will continue to be close to this and will be a wonderful resource.
There are so many things I want to say. So many. Why can’t I seem to grab them as they swirl around in my brain? I’m overwhelmed. May 27, 2014…a new journey begins.
Stay tuned for updates, and if I haven’t said so before, please do share this blog with anyone who you feel would be interested or would be willing to send up an extra prayer for our girl.
Love and hugs, R